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Hello arrhythmia, my old friend. I feel like an 80y/o grumpy bitch with this irregular heartbeat shit, taking pills for it and all. I’ve come to talk with you again.. Singing songs I can’t sing. Remember when everything used to be better just because we had fewer expectations? It’s not that people would consider lower standards or not care. It was purely based on the fact that their happiness had a cap. A fairly small cap. I used to have lower expectations, I still do. In fact they’re so low that I’m told I’m constantly getting hurt because of this precisely. I guess I have my mom to thank for it. She had such low expectations and such high patience that she suffered through a horrible marriage for her two kids thanks to these deadly traits. Her two stupid kids. Runs in the bloodline. Like cancer, exists to kill you. One thing I’ve noticed about me that I wish I never had it in me to begin with is understanding others. I do one thing really perfectly in this world and that is understanding others no matter what –unconditionally even when they don’t understand themselves. Wanna know how often I get it in turn? Rarely, close to never. But hey, I have low expectations. Am I happier for it? Fuck no.

“Fools” said I, “You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows”

Words of wisdom.

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